"The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy, that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit."
-Jimmy Breslin
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."
-George Burns
"In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief."
-John Barrymore
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone."
-Bill Cosby
"I wouldn't ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was, you know, important —like a league game or something."
-Dick Butkus
"I have no money, no resources, no hopes. I am the happiest man alive."
-Henry Miller
"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
-Will Rogers
"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."
-Dorothy Parker
"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
-Jerry Seinfeld
"Don’t look back. Something might be gaining on you."
-Satchel Paige
"Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window."
-Steve Wozniak
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