40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably
People in Scotland sunbathe.
35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming.
Zero degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last bbq before it gets cold.
10 degrees below zero - People in Miami cease to exist.
People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
20 degrees below zero - Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
80 degrees below zero - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
100 degrees below zero - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.
173 degrees below zero - Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
297 degrees below zero - Microbial life start to disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 degrees below zero - ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "chilly, you cauld an aw?"
500 degrees below zero - Hell freezes over.
Scottish people support England in World Cup.
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