January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Hello! Bottles won't fit in printer.
March - Got really excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours because the power went out.
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid. Wrong instructions. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
June - Tried to go water skiing but couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later, the other swimmers cheated and used their arms.
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm and car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - The capital of California is "C" - isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days - instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911 - duh! There's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone.
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