An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky sod. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno," shrugged the man. "I never found the head."
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