Asinine Anecdotes - 03

One of my relatives met a woman who wanted to call her kid LATRINE. It took me an hour to stop laughing long enough to ask if anybody had pointed out what a latrine is. They had. She was apparently still intent on using it.

When I received my new credit card, it had the number two (2) after my name instead of Roman numeral II as it should have, indicating that my name is the same as my father's. I called the bank's customer service number and asked that their records be changed to use the Roman numeral two (II) instead of the number two (2).
The customer service rep said, "I'm sorry, sir. My computer doesn't have Roman numerals."

At my bookstore a customer returned three of Shakespeare's books because, "The DARN things are in the form of PLAYS!"

At the grocery store, the checkout woman scanned all of my items then picked up the rubber divider and looked it over for the bar code so she could scan it. She asked, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said, "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
She said, "Okay." I paid her and left.

I entered the restroom, a cow-orker who had just finished his
business, turned to me and said, "Oh, hey, Brent, I was just
thinking about you."

At my last job, just as I was entering a restroom, a co-worker said, "Say, can I grab you when you're done?"


A pool hall put up a sign in their front window that read: "Profound language prohibited within." I could just imagine some people discussing the meaning of life and being told to take it outside.

At a business lunch, platters of calamari were passed down the tables. As a platter reached one of the employee's wives, she was heard to remark during an unfortunate lull in the conversation, "No, thanks. I never eat anything with testicles attached."
The stricken silence lasted a few moments. Then 150 people lost it.

I work in a camera store. An Induhvidual came in and said his camera wasn't working and asked me if I could look at it. I agreed and said I would check the battery first. The Induhvidual said, "I've had this battery for five years and I've never had any problems with it before."
I changed the battery and the camera worked.

My boss was having a discussion with another employee about some work rules that pertain to people doing manual labor. He said these rules don't apply to us because we don't use manuals.

Yesterday my boss called me and said, "Effective immediately, I want you to stop your current activity and start working on this new area." When I asked specifically what I was supposed to do, he replied: "It was not my intention to give you a task today, just a mind-set!"