25 Jul 2005

Re: Lie on in court?

A police officer pulls a bloke over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's licence?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 3rd drink-driving ban.

Officer: I see sir, well may I see the log book for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen ?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the log book in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the boot.

Officer: There's a BODY in the BOOT ?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Superintendent. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Superintendent approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Superintendent: Sir, can I see your licence?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. (It was valid.)

Superintendent: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the log book.

Superintendent: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver:Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Superintendent: Would you mind opening your boot ? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem.

Boot is opened; no body.

Superintendent: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a licence, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the boot.


Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

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