Woodyisms

From the brain of Woody Allen

"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies."

"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things."

"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying."

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."

"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best."

"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me."

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

"It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more."

"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else."