15 Jul 2005

Asinine Anecdotes

We sent a message to our wholesaler asking what happened to two orders of underwear that were 60 days late. The answer I got back was, "Sorry, they fell through the cracks."

A local museum here in Nova Scotia has a display about early French settlers. My friend once overheard a visitor commenting on the wooden shoes shown in the costume display, "I didn't know the French were Dutch!"

On my way to school I saw a pickup truck towing a car using nothing but a rope. No one was in the towed car and it was moving at a good clip. Needless to say, when the pickup stopped at a red light the towed car smashed into the back of it, demolishing both vehicles."

I recently had to call German Telekom to get my new cell phone switched on. I asked the call center guy how long it would take and he said, "Well, usually it only takes 48 hours, but we're
experiencing technical difficulties right now, so it'll take about two days."

Last week I was sitting in the teacher's lounge at the high school where I work. One of my colleagues, an English teacher, was lamenting the poor behavior of her students, and longing for the return of "corporate punishment."

A local Chinese restaurant printed up thousands of menus and distributed them. The entry for "Shrimp with assorted vegetables" was tragically mistyped as "Shrimp with assroted vegetables."

While working at the local library, surrounded by literally tens of thousands of library materials, I was approached by an Induhvidual who asked, "Do you have any books?"

I work at a thrift store in Oklahoma. One day we got a set of nice used glass bowls. My boss prepared them for display and made a sign. "New set of bowels -- $4.00"

I was eating breakfast at a restaurant called Biscuitville. The paper liner of the tray proudly announced "INGREDIENTS AS FRESH AS THEY WERE 27 YEARS AGO"

Someone broke into the house of one of my dad's friends. While the person was stealing stuff, I guess he needed a change of clothes, because he took off his pants and put on a pair from the house. He left his own pants behind. Unfortunately for him, he forgot that in one of the pants pockets there was a receipt with his name and address on it. Needless to say, there wasn't much trouble in catching him.

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